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Tyler Ward – Call You Quick

I’m feeling better today. It’s been over a month since I’ve woken up without any weight on me. I actually woke up at 5am (my originally planned wake up). For the past month, I’ve been waking up at 6:45am with only 20 minutes to get ready for work.

Anyways, yesterday was ridiculous. Had work, skipped the gym due to the good kind of sore, had kbbq with my bro, got screamed at, demolished my closet… I got rid of a lot of stuff and I’m sending it to my cousin in Northern California. I have room in my closet for more! But I’m not going to shop.

I’m kind of all over the place today, but I think that’s a good sign that I’m doing much better I’m glad I have great friends and relationships around me to help me through all of this — so guys, thanks for the gigantor gorilla backhand bitchslap on the face! <3

We say its okay and to leave it alone
But I want you to notice this case isn’t closed
Doors are open, the lights are left on
And there’s never a night I sleep
With the dreams that Id have if you never decided, decided to leave
There’s never an ounce that I breathe without thinking about who I could have been with you.
There’s never an ounce that I breathe without thinking about who I could have been if you didn’t leave.

The phones been patient to hear your call
But you never touch the dial
You never touch the dial
So now I know
There’s someone I wish walked through these halls
But you’ll never take the chance to come home
So come home

We say we can learn from this
But I just don’t know what to do without you anymore
Your absence is taking its toll on me
What I should believe
I just cant believe
There’s never an ounce that I breathe without thinking about who I could have been with you.
There’s never an ounce that I breathe without thinking about who I could have been if you didn’t leave.

The phones been patient to hear your call
But you never touch the dial
You never touch the dial
So now I know
There’s someone I wish walked through these halls
But you’ll never take the chance to come home
So come home

You say it isn’t my fault so I steer away
I put off the pain for another day
Did you think it wouldn’t be tough?
8 years was never enough
Ill wait for you
If you never change I will be okay
But Ill still stay up for you
Just in case you make the time for the right move.

The phones been patient to hear your call
But you never touch the dial
You never touch the dial
So now I know
There’s someone I wish walked through these halls
But you’ll never take the chance to come home
So come home
There’s someone I wish walked through these halls
The phones been patient to hear your call
But you never touch the dial
You never touch the dial
So now I know
Theres someone I wish walked through these halls
But you never touch the dial
You never touch the dial
And now I know
The phones been patient to hear your call
But you’ll never take the chance to come home
But you’ll never take the chance to come home
Just come home

Eyes Set to Kill – Come Home

This has been the worst week I’ve had in a while. Bah. The past month has been so UGH. Just… thank you Kimmie, Mary Grace, Lucy and Dan for your support.

Friday, July 9th — I ended up going out to CJs with the usual people. Spent most of my time outside of the bar. I was so tired. Left early, went to Norms with Kevin, Mike, Rafa, Paco, Jan, Luis, Mia and their friend. I don’t remember her name. I don’t think I’ve laughed so hard in my life (courtesy of KO).

Saturday, July 10th — Dan came over early and we went to lunch with my brother to Rinaldi’s. I saw one of my old classmates and we just said our quick hello’s. After, Dan and I traveled around the beach cities to find a suitable park for an event we’re having in a couple weeks. Hopefully it works out. We went shopping at Del Amo and I bought shoes for the outfit I was going to wear to Erika’s thing later that night. We saw Despicable Me. HILARIOUS movie. It was pretty funny. I seriously act like Agnes. She’s a cute little bugger. I got a kick out of the minion glowstick scene. Anyways, after, Dan and I had dinner at Islands and we went home. I went to lie down for a nap so I could last the night at Erika’s thing, but I was knocked out! I was kinda bummed I missed it. I ended up waking up at 1:25am in the morning. What a fail. I did get to talk to Kimmie last night. She may be the baby cousin but I’m so grateful for her. She bluntly put my reality into perspective. Hopefully things get better for me.

Today, July 11th — I pretty much just woke up and went to Dan’s. We hung out, watched Space Jam. I napped. It was s hot I was ridiculously cranky. I napped some more, went to Wal-Mart to start getting things for the event. Went back home, I knocked out again & Dan made dinner. I woke up to hot food & it was worth the om nom nom especially since I haven’t really been eating, or sleeping. Eh.

I’m glad I had a relatively good weekend.

…and one more thing — Goodbye to you.

TEAM JACOB. hands down.

So, I’m feeling kind of crappy. I’m sure this is wonderful news to the lovely a-hole who’s been spamming my comments with unnecessary and miserable attempts to hurt my feelings LOL. Anyways, I think I’ve been feeling kind of lonely. No offense to the boyfriend or my bff. I see boyfriend every weekend, and I barely saw bff after a couple of months… Sad actually. I just don’t have the same people to talk to about absolutely EVERYTHING about. Everyone’s so busy. I understand peoples’ priorities… maybe the fact that I’m an adult and in the real world? I would say so. I’m not going to say it sucks, because the paychecks definitely don’t suck. I guess I miss my social life. I’ve become to dependent to go frolic on my own I guess. I want it to change but I don’t know why I stick in my own bubble.

On Friday (the 2nd) I went to visit the bff in Costa Mesa right after work. I was so exhausted. We ended up going to Dave & Busters to have dinner. I was so embarrassed because I was SO hungry, I couldn’t speak. When the waitress came to our table, blahblahblah literally came out. Thank God Lucy was there to be my brain LOL. We had a conversation about our humor and how only WE understand each others humor. I thought about it, and it’s really true. Other people would respond to me saying “dork” but in all seriousness, Lucy would finish my joke/sentence/train of thought for me. I want to try harder to see her more often cuz that punk is effin awesome.

I think I only lag it because I drive to boyfriend every weekend due to unfortunate circumstances. BOO to car trouble! :[

I'm annoyed with a lot of people. How can you be betrayed so badly and let that person in again? It has been a while since any communication has went on... but to pick up where you left off? I don't know how to do that. I guess I've grown up and finally understood the situation from all possible angles. I TRY so hard to open myself to this person again... I guess my heart's not in it anymore. As my cousin put it, I want "that story" but... shiet. Gotta grow up sometime.

Anyways, I spent pretty much this past Easter weekend with boyfriend. Dan and his family invited me to Charlie Brown's in Rosemead. It's a nice restaurant. Yummy. I ordered the ribeye steak, but it was alright. Dan ordered the prime rib and BAHH I should've gotten it LOL. After dinner, we came back to his house and he opened presents.

I swear... he NEVER smiles for anything like that ;]

For Easter, I spent the day at Dan’s aunt’s house. The young kids had an egg hunt and after the kids found them all, EVERYONE was given a carton of confetti filled eggs and… we smashed them all on each others heads. SO MUCH FUN!!

So, I was thinking about my Lenten sacrifice… and it STUCK. Oh geez, I wonder how long I have until it wears away. I think it’ll end up this way for a while since I don’t really  see anyone much anymore :[

Life happens!

BTW, check out the video… it’s a Miley Cyrus cover. WAY better!

Paramore – Brick By Boring Brick

Hey guys :] Long time no write! How have all of you been? As for myself, I’ve been pretty stressed out. And kind of lonely. LOL. But how can that be, right? I’m out almost every weekend, I go out everyday (whether it be to hang out, run errands, or gym it)… It’s just one of those times where you don’t feel connected to anyone or anything.

For the past four months, it has been emotionally hard, due to circumstances that are unmentionable — but I’ve been getting better… I think. To sum up pretty much what’s happened as of yet… I went to Vegas with friends to celebrate mine and Mary Grace’s birthdays; Dan, Lucy, Chela, Grace, Joel and I attended the Hello Kitty Exhibit in November; Fell in love with Glee (I’m a dork, but it’s a really good show!); had unsurfaced and unnecessary drama with a friend’s friend due to a guy who is, one of my good friends (rolls eyes); probably since October until January, I’ve consumed more alcohol altogether than in 2 years; I got in a car accident; I experienced my first extreme hangover — to the point where I stayed in bed all day haha; I finally gave my two weeks notice to my retail job of five years… and next week, I will be starting my new full-time, benefits infused job! I’m excited, scared, worried and stressed lol.

Okay, I got lazy. Oh, if you knew about my whole desperation to lose weight phase… I lost 25lb, gained it back during my vacation to Texas and Cayman Islands, lost 10lb — leaner, faster, and my endurance is what I wanted it to be! As for sizes, I’ve dropped 3 sizes and I think I’m happy with myself now :] Finally learned to not look at the scale but look/feel how my clothes fit on me :]

Toodles.

Nip/Tuck Season 4 Finale