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New toy!
Saturday, February 6th, 2010 | Uncategorized | 1 Comment
Mobile blogging is now in business. Thank you Droid! =)
In this state of mind…
Monday, November 30th, 2009 | Uncategorized | No Comments
Ever wanted to disappear? Wondered how people would take your absence? How things would change if they did change; or if people would miss you enough to stop their lives in search for yours? Or as a great friend of mind once asked, if there was a RESET button, would you press it?
Well, some things never change regardless of how powerful you might be in any way. Your strength in relationship or your strength as an individual might never be enough to overpower the greediness of a human being. Someone must realize the value of their own life before they can value the life of others. So, i sit here and think…i think of these random thoughts…what would it be like if I suddenly disappeared? Would people care? Would people care more if I were gone indefinitely? Or worse, perished? What must I do to be remembered? What must I do to make a dent on this earth; to make a difference in someone’s life? Is our own existence not enough to give us that power over people?What sets us different from one another, when in the end we turn out to be the same?
I have many questions, I know. But I only ask because I’m the kind of person that thinks a lot, the kind to question, the kind to search for the right answers. I’m always searching for the truth no matter how ugly it might be. I’m trying to be the best person I can be. Loyal, honest, trustworthy, amongst other things, it’s what I stand to be. The golden rule is a powerful thing…but sometimes we aren’t treated as we treat others. No matter how correct your actions are, they might not be reciprocated for you. It’s a shame that life is so unfair and confusing. But what can we do? Life just seems like a game of choices. Once you take one step into it, the only way out is moving forward. So why are we always set on the past? Or changing what we cannot? It makes no sense how we humans think and operate. We are difficult and weird. The complexity of our minds and emotions are overwhelming.
Now, what defines a good person? Does a good person hold the qualities I mentioned above? Is there more, less, or is there something completely different in the mixture? Why are we codependent? I mean, I completely understand that without the help of other people we would not exceed, and we wouldn’t exist…but why are why so attached or dependent on others? I guess I have too much to learn in so little time and learning about what makes us tick is nearly an impossible task. So…why do we make life complicated for ourselves?
I wish I understood why certain people are unappreciated when others who deserve much less are idolized. But I stop in my tracks…who am I to judge them and determine what they deserve? I am no one to do such thing. But in theory, why is it that the person on the right track have it much harder than the others? Makes life only that much harder.
Quitting. It’s not an option. But how about living on the edge? Living so close to the breaking point that any quick change would push you to quitting? How far must you go ahead in order to never come back to that? I wish they had a manual for all this…but then again…who would actually allocate the time to read it?
Wow, this post turned out to be a completely different than I had thought up in my head. Fortunately, it was for the best. No person was named and all things said were vague and indirect. So, now the last question is: Who really understands what I mean behind all this, in context to my life?
Give it a try. I’ll know who’s been listening.
Update
Monday, October 19th, 2009 | Uncategorized | No Comments
So, I realized that I haven’t updated this thing in a while and figured I’d do so since I’m not doing homework for a change. There’s so much that has happened since the last time I blogged that I don’t know where to start. It’s been 5 months since my last blog…ok… let me think.
The summer was definitely a roller coaster but was good for the most part. It mostly consisted of work and family. I spent most of my time at work or with my cousins who were here from out of town. I ended up spending more money this summer than ever before I think…even without my trip to Mexico. There was one week where I went out every night with my sister and cousin. It was the greatest time of all. We really did everything! We went everywhere together. We just ran a muck all over LA and Orange County. It was fun. I also went to a Dodgers’ game which was a WHOLE lot of fun with great people! =) Ummm…I went to the OC Fair three times, went to the movies about 6 times, went shopping, went to Downtown Disney, went to the beach a few times, took a short trip to Temecula, went to a few pool parties, went to a couple parties… I did a lot more but it’s too much to remember.
I started school in late August and am currently taking 16 units. (5 classes and a Lab) Ouch! This has been by far the hardest semester but I’m doing great. It’s week 7 I think and I have a perfect attendance record so far! Now that is a record! =) School has been overwhelming and work has gotten busier but I’ve managed. Somehow I always find a way to get it all done and done well.
Although life has been a long and somewhat scary roller coaster ride, I’ve learned that things around me constantly change and I myself have changed as well. It’s hard to explain everything that runs through my mind or crosses my path but I can tell you that it is not predictable what so ever. As soon as I think something has settled or is at a good state, everything gets flipped around. Same with the opposite, just as soon as I’m about to give up and hit rock bottom, something comes up to lift me up little by little and gives me the strength to keep on moving forward. It seems that my life has become a bipolar drama inside my head… ha ha ha. It sort of gives me whiplash…I just sometimes don’t know what to do. Life is so confusing but so wonderful a the same time. Like mentioned before, it stores good and bad and all of a sudden things flip around and back again. Things seem to work themselves out sometimes but other times it becomes a challenge, a journey with many obstacles to confront and triumph over. There are a multitude of choices but only two ways to solve the problem: the right way or the wrong way. Sometimes things aren’t as black and white as people think. We somehow are blinded by certain things, people, views, or opinions, and that could or could not be a good thing. Our actions and choices reflect upon many things and our consequences aren’t always the ones we hope for. I don’t necessarily know where I was going with this blog but it seemed to turn into a look into my racing mind instead of an update. Oh well… with me that’s what happens and that’s what you get… ha ha ha
Anyways, I just realized it’s past midnight and I should be going to bed since I have to wake up at 7:30 later. I’ll update later… I didn’t realize how much I missed blogging out my random mind. Lately, work and school have taken over. Luckily, I’ll get a good weekend getaway to VEGAS this weekend! I’m excited for that. We’re celebrating two birthdays. Two of my best friends. Lucky me huh? Life loves me occasionally… =)
Peace and love!
Lately…
Monday, May 11th, 2009 | Uncategorized | 1 Comment
It seems like lately I’ve been having more bad days than good days. It’s been such a roller coaster of feelings and emotions that sometimes I myself don’t know what mood I am in. There are so many thoughts in my head that I drown myself in them and can’t seem to float or swim away.
Lately nobody has known what’s on my mind, not even my best friends. It’s not that I’m hiding or try to keep anything from them, it is more like I’m always busy, they’re always busy and I don’t want to be a whiny burden and steal time away that will never be given back. Sometimes I don’t even know how I would even begin to tell them how I feel. I love my best friends but I think they’re better of without my problems and rambling. Because, lets face it, I talk a lot and I’m sure I get annoying. I cut myself off sometimes because I feel nobody wants to listen or cares anymore for that matter. I dislike that look that people give me when they’re uninterested or confused. I don’t blame them though, like I said, I talk a lot.
I think I’ll stop talking about this, I’m getting a bit frustrated with my line of thought right now. I rather document later.
On a happier note:
I ♥ my bestfriends! (You know who you are)
You guys and girls make life worth while and have been there for me through my many ups and downs. I can’t imagine life without you!
A brighter side…
Saturday, April 18th, 2009 | Uncategorized | 1 Comment
As I talk to certain people and connect at a certain level I realized that we have something in common. We’re on the same journey with similar obstacles, we’re not alone. Just as I thought I was going crazy, I found someone who felt the same way I did…same feelings, different story.
It’s comforting to know that someone out there understands what you’re going through and how you feel. It’s nice to know you have someone to relate to and walk side by side to. It’s just upsetting to think ahead and know that someday you will both go your own ways and fend for your life in this cruel world on your own again…until you bump into another person who felt the same. Again, same feelings, different story.
History repeating itself.
Just enjoy the moment you realized that you’re not really alone and you have someone to talk to and love. Live your life to the fullest and never look back. Keep one foot forward and get ready to face the unexpected.
Love yourself, it makes all the difference.